The best jokes of the year

1- just because i don't like cooking doesn't mean i cant cook, have u tasted my hot water B4 ? Chai lord u will lick ur cup
2- i paid 100k 2 enter the zoo and u are telling me not to hug the lions limme joor
3- with the way things are going now, APC may change there broom to cutlass oo
4- Dating a slim girl is cool until u lock ur door and she enters the house through the bathroom pipes
5- i hate It when am singing a song and someone correct me pls, what of if i'm doing the remix ??
6- There is nothing more annoying than a child from the next compound playing with "Up Nepa" when ur phone is 1%
7-at my age i thought i have seen everything in life not until when i saw an albino lady using bleaching cream
Ahh ,sister do u want to become invisible??
8- Final year students will be like "Last card"
then ASUU will be like "pick 2"
9- One advantage of being an African is that you touch the ground with your finger , touch your tongue and point upward when you are telling the truth
10- My friend stop masturbating, who knows if that wasted child can invent a phone that can browse for free
11- She broke up with me just for this
Me: baby I heard that you lost your phone
Girlfriend: yes love (Crying)
Me: Oya dash me the charger nah abeg
12- I don't care if it's dream or not, CHEATING IS CHEATING, if i dream that u cheat on me when i wake up it is over between me and u
13- Some of u wey dey read my post but find it very hard to comment and like, continue God is watching with Plasma TV
14- I can't date a girl called AMAKA.. That girl that have mind to disappoint 2FACE...what will she do me that have 1FACE..
15- If it was a Yoruba man that owned Facebook and Whatsapp, some emojis would have Tribal Marks
Chaaiii who throw me stone
16- pastor Samuel Peter, abeg If u want to bleach, bleach with sense, don't come and b looking like traffic light....
Green vein , Yellow face and Red neck
Oya come and beat me
17- It's only in Nigeria you will see a poor man selling books on HOW TO MAKE MONEY.
18- 242 billion Naira for election??.
Nigeria population is approximately 190 million.
We don't want election in 2019 again. Just share the money, 1.344million for each person through account and BVN, and continue your second tenure.
Am i communicating ???
19- OMG I actually don't know where I parked my Car in my dream..
I can't be this careless
20- If I've neva made u laff diz 2018, comment "hi" lemme block u. ur problem is more dan me nd my jokes.
21- That moment Wey you never see your period for long... You'll just be like oh lord if I see my period.. I no go fuck again(not my handwriting oo)
22- You have 3k likes but you don't have 3k in your account..... Bosslady why?
23- Are you on WhatsApp? That question should stop. If you want to ask her for number please be bold enough to ask her number. Stop using WhatsApp to cover up
24- Seriously girls should avoid dis make up tin... I just kissed a sister of mine fore head and it
tasted like tiger battery...
25- Dating someone's Girlfriend is good, until you date mine and run mad. Juju is real my Brothers!
26- Saying: Thanks For Acceptance my friend request should end this year please dont carry that grammar to 2019
27- Ladies stop looking for Mr.Right Just take Mr.Left and drag that idiot to the right
28- Please Help??
I Need An Advice,Would You Attend Someone's Funeral Who Didn't Attend Yours??
29- Love will just make your Boyfriend look like the most handsome guy in the world..
Breakup and see how ugly he is
30- You call me with a private number and expect me to speak first? We will do breathing competition till your airtime finishes.... Idiot
31- Mtcheew My cousin thinks he can play with me. He took my phone and sent a break up SMS to my girl. I thought of few ways to punish him, I then stole his phone and saved my number as JOB UPDATE and sent him job invitation message.
Now he's on his way to Lagos from Zamfara for the interview .
I pity am
32-the IPhone 8 I bought from a Chinese shop charged up to 103% and switch off itself den restart wit a Nokia tune and a Samsung logo
33- Fear those that will copy your post
Without "LIKING & COMMENTING"
They can snatch your husband or your Wife
34- Flight Mode Has Saved A Lot Of Relationships I am Telling You.
35- Guys be calling their girlfriends my queen ,& if the queen ask for ordinary 10k, the kingdom scatter nd the igwe disappear
36- I don't know anyone in dis group
I don't know where anyone is chatting from
But never mind, i will find you one by one and eat your Christmas's meat , wether u like it or not
MERRY CHRISTMAS IN ADVANCE
Don't said i rushed oo , it is a booking

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